When I decided to write again, it was the joy of writing that drew me back.
Then I discovered the possibility of writing on sites like Medium, where writing is read and a small amount of money might even come in. But I was still focused on writing for my own satisfaction.
Then I read a bit more about how a few writers have made a career from writing on Medium. I watched loads YouTube videos on form, audience, titles, the lot. But I still knew I wanted to write for its own sake.
Then I realised my writing can develop and improve if I work on it, so I made piles of notes about how best to write for success. I would definitely work that into my plan, but it would only ever come second to writing for pleasure.
I spent the next week or so coming up with ideas, building structures and salient points through brainwashing and bullet points. I even tried writing complete articles from those notes, but I couldn’t get a piece finished to my self-imposed standards. It was increasingly frustrating to be sat down, focused, determined, but not able to produce anything worthy of publication.
Here I am a month later (including two weeks of illness), only just realising that my aim has shifted. I’ve been so hellbent on writing to a high standard that I’ve still not published anything on Medium.
So, in remembering my incentive to write in the first place, and realising how sharply and unexpectedly I’ve lost my way, I’m now wrenching myself back on track. That doesn’t mean I’ll have something up on Medium tomorrow or even this week, but it does mean I’ll publish what I like writing without too much second-guessing, not what I think will set me up for some objective judgement of success.